TheStudentOfArtise

CLUBBING SIAO

2009-11-19T00:28:00.001-08:00

YING,JAS AND ME.. HAHAS.. I MISS YING SO MUCH.. SO LONG NV JOIN THE OUTING LE.. SAD.. =)STILL GOT DAMN ALOTS PHOTO.. BUT LAZY UPLOAD SO MUCH LA.. HAHAS..

DOR JAS AND ME.. IN POWER HOUSE.. HAHAS.. WE BECAME RESIDENT IN ST.JAMES MAN... XD

CLUBBING IN ST.JAMES POWER HOUSE.. =)

FIRST TO BE UP.. IS AH BAO AND ME..YUPPIE AND WE MISS MR BAO SO MUCHIE! WHERE THE HELL HE WENT TO EH.. WELL THE REST EVERONE SHLD NOE.. LETS JUST WATCH THE PICS.. ITS ALL DIFFERENT EVNT.. WITH ALL MY BEST SISTERS =)

2009-11-19T00:21:00.000-08:00

WAS AT ZOUK FLEA MARKET.. WELL.. ITS A FUN ONE ACTUALLY.. SHOP LIKE HELL..HAHAS..BUT ITS RAINING.. WELL// A BIT BORING AFTER THAT.. THE QUEEN GOES TO ME AND JUN.. SHE FOLLOW ME SHOPPING TOO MUCH,, END UP LIKE ME LIKE THAT.. HAHAS... SHOPPING QUEEN PRIORITY!

the story

2009-11-18T23:58:00.000-08:00

LET ME TELL A STORY TODAY;
A GIRL NAME COOKIE AND A BOY NAME COFFEE. COOKIE AND COFFEE,FROM UNKNOWN TO VERY CLOSE.NO MATTER WAD COOKIE ALWAYS THINK OF COFFEE 1ST.IN THE FACT THAT COOKIE LIKE COFFEE. BUT AFTER A LONG TIME.. COFFEE CHANGED.. NOT AS CARING NOT AS KIND.BUT COOKIE STIL BELIEVE THAT ,NO HE WILL BE BACK.BE BY HIS SIDE,TAKING CARE OF HIS EVERYTHING,BECAME PART OF HER LIFE.HE THROW HER TEMPER[WHICH HE PROMISE HE WONT],HE DONT APPRECIATE NO MATTER WHAT SHE DO[WHICH HE USED TO APPRECIATE],HE DONT REALLY TALK TO HER [WHICH HE USED TO TALK ALOT] HE BECAME SO COLD[ WHICH NOT SUPPOSE TO]...
TILL.. SOMEONE TOLD COOKIE.. I THINK THAT GIRL IS HIS GIRLFRIEND..
COOKIE SMILED.SHE STILL DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM, WHILE LOOKING AT HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND SITTING THERE CHATTING HAPPILY,SO SWEET SO LOVING.SHE STILL DO HER BEST TO CLEAR HIS THINGS FOR HIM..EVERYTHING FOR HIM. A FEW DAYS PASSED, COOKIE NEVER APPEAR TO BE BY HIS SIDE ANYMORE.FINALLY,COFFEE FELT WEIRD.LOOKING AT THE TABLE SHE LAST TOUCHED.. A LETTER WAS LEFT THERE.. IT WRITTEN [LAST FAREWELL] "PLEASE BE HAPPY WITH OR WITHOUT ME,THATS ALL I CAN DO"

THIS STORY TELL US.. LOVE IS NOT SELFISH,IS ABOUT LETTING THE ONE WE LOVE HEPPY?? NO WAY! ANOTHER VIEW IS.. MAN ARE SO SELFISH! SO STUPID..CANT THEY FEEL MORE?! OMG.. HAHAS..THAT STORY IS MY IMAGINATION EH. HLF HAPPEN ON MYSELF.. I JUST EDIT THE ENDING.. MAYBE I SHLD DO THAT ENDING ON MY OWN TOO.. SEE WADS THE OUTCOME.. NOT BAD EH..

im back!

2009-10-19T05:49:00.000-07:00

IT BEEN SO LONG SINCE I BLOG AGAIN.. YUP,LIFE HAVE BEEN SO BUSY FOR ME. AND THATS SO MUCH THINGS IN MY MIND NOW. LIKE GIVING HIM UP AFTER LIKE 1 YR PLUS?LIKE ANOTHER STUPID THING I VE DONE AGAIN.THATS WHY HE SAID IM SILLY.WELL.. THINGS HAVE CHANGED I GUESS..WE JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE.WORSE!!MY BIRTHDAY MY BIRTHDAY! NOT EVEN A WORD FROM HIM.IS NOT THAT I DIDNT INVITE, IS HE IGNORED.BUT THIS IS NOT THAT WORSE OUT OF MY LIFE THAT MAKE ME GONE MAD EH.. IS THAT SLUT THAT I USED TO RESPECT..BUT NOT NOW!NOW TO ME SHE S JUST A SLUT THAT I NEED TO ACT THAT IM STIL ALRIGHT WITH HER BUT HATE HER TO THE CORE BEHIND..WELL I GUESS IM SUCH A BITCH BUT SHE S DRIVING ME CRAZY! KNOW WHAT?!SHE KNOW I LOVE HIM,BUT SHE KEEP ON TELLING ME SHE CALL TO WAKE HIM UP, SHE BUY BREAKFAST FOR HIM, HE TREAT HER EAT LUNCH WITH OTHERS,TOOK HIS STUFF FOR HIM,SAY HOW MUCH SHE KNOW ABOUT HIM N ETC... INFRONT OF ME!!!!!!!WHEN EVERYONE KNOW THAT HOW IMPORTANT HE IS TO ME!! HE JUST LIKE A PRECIOUS TO ME,, I HANDLE HIM WITH CARE , SCARE TO HURT HIM, LIKE HE S GONNA BE BROKEN ANYTIMES.DISAPOINTMENT... SO I JUST WANT TO LEAVE THIS FREAKING PLACE QUIETLY,SHEDING MY TEARS AFTER I TURN AROUND.I GUESS I LEAD A LIFE LIKE MERMAID..BUT I DONT FEEL GREAT OF MYSELF.. I FEELS STUPID BUT I CANT HELP IT, WHO CAN CONTROL FEELINGS? TEACH ME PLEASE?=( ANOTHER THING.. MY STUDIES.. WELL.. I HAVE A MUM THAT KEEP ASKING ME WHEN SIGN UP.. BUT I HAVE A BROTHER THAT HALF SUPPORTIVE BUT HALF POURING WATER ON ME.. AND THAT IS ICE WATER I GUESS~! I MEAN I WILL PROVE IT TO YOU! COS I WANT TO CLIMB HIGHER THAN PPL THAT DUN BELIEVE I CAN DO SO .SO .. I LL MAKE SURE THEM SUFFER UNDER ME. AND I SHALL LOOK DOWN ON THEM, TO LET THEM FEEL HOW PPL OUT THERE IS FEELING WHEN THEY DO SO TOO. TELLING THEM NOT TO BE SO PROUD OF YOURSELF, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.I JUST DUNO WHY.. THATS SO MUCH THINGS IN MY HEAD.. SPINNING.. WORKING IS SUCH A PAIN TO ME NOW, I DUN FEEL LIKE IT ANYMORE.TIRED TIRED TIRED. TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE,I LL FIGHT.BUT NOT IN CDM ANYMORE. NO WAY!! HAIS... WHAT I WANT?? I HATE MYSELF IN SOME WAYS EH,, RIGHT.. AH BAL SAID POST GOOD THINGS?? BUT I DONT SEEM I GOT THE MOOD TO WRITE ANY EH..WAITING FOR PAY TO BE IN.. SO SHOPPING N HOUSE ETC.. IM COMING! WOOS..... THATS WILL MAKE ME FEELS BETTER =)

i had enough~

2009-05-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

i had enough of it.. i dont know wad i want.. i duno wad i need.. eddy.. tell me, what is it i want? that unclear image.. is that me? am i truly exist?who am i why am i crying cos of everything.my gd fren told me he found gf.. im truly happy for him but im sad at another cos.. why doed guys get whoeva they want so easily while we girls dont. if i want rainbow i must bear with the rain.? well then this rain must be a heavy storm.like wad afronson said.. at the end of the day, i could only blame myself cos i only left with me n myself to blame on.. as they left.i believe.. i can go on.. still pull on. i want to know what is me down the few years.who will my highness be.. still him? or changed. if i could hang on.forgive me if i cant,xiao long n wen long. tot u 2 lied to me.. cos u 2 arent there anymore. but u guys stil my friends.forgive me for who i am for what i said n what i did. cos... I HAD ENOUGH OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPEN IN MY LIFE!I HAD ENOUGH OF ALL OF YOU TOO!!!!!!!!

2009-03-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

that day im so pissed off.. he confused me with his words.i cried like no one else business.i see another him, he stil care for me this friend.thats a good one that i cried again.. too touching.=) now.. me and that him slowly we are alright.. my mind keep flash back.. that day he told me not to angry. everytime i saw him. i cant control but i felt so mixed. boy im not angry you should noe. im just disappointed.the way you treat me is not wad i truely want it to be.its not the way.how can i make you feel my heart.how can i make you say you do.like the way you say no matter wad i want oso can i happy ju hao.can love be as simple if its a secret. i know u said.. simple complicated. yup.. think so.but im so happy when we are back to the square ones..i just want you to smile.when you smile cos of me im happy than anyone. someone cheat your feeling last time. i know you're hurt..if you dont dare to have faith on anyone anymore.. i can let you trust on.dont treat me like a puppet on the street..i can promise nothing but one.no one can ever love you as much as i do.that i believe.but to me.. everything is nth.towards you i have no confident at all.ridiculous.. i hate you seriously i hate you..but it will never more than i love you.

i got myself a new friend.a gd friend.eddy.. you know?i hope you saw everything that happen to me.thats no way i can talk to you. so i type here hope you will see if you are by myside.his name is wen long..my gd gd fren.he treat me good.. but afterall.. he's still him..not you.im back with xiao long..but he's not that xiao long i used to know.anyway he's back.hoor.. nowaday.. i still feel so stress.. i never let myself destress.. i duno how to let my mind go..if you're here.. will it be different? i never let myself rest since you went away.where is the dreams? i miss you so much..those dreams .. doggy its not enough for me to stop crying.i tried to blame others for your death but i cant do it.end up i blaming myself.doggy.. is my new friend a gd friend?after you left me alone.. im totally alone.. i uesd to be alone till im scare to be go with crowds..the more ppl the more i feel lonely.but i still need ti smile..when i cant.only him who can make me smile but he not here.he's alright with or without me. like no different.. T_T.. or like wen long said the.. im too sensitive? maybe..

im so happy

2009-03-02T03:55:00.000-08:00

1/3/09 midnight.. my most happiest day i ever have..cos i finally cleared eveything with xiao long..i just want him back as my gd fren..tot we not as gd as in the past..and he's back.. after 2 years.. the 1st time we talk bout our own xin shi again..xiao long.. is 2 year not 1 yr..finally we sat down and chat again..seem like everything went back to the carpark..but xiao long...cannot drink alot le eh.. if not i beat your butt..sweat..so worried..hmm..i've being waiting for so long.. finally this day come.. and the she bu de you request..i tot u sing end up i sing..hahas..=x..my precious gd fren eh.. next time sing for u again..i hope and pray that you'll be happy..and you will find your happiness.. cos u my star.. oways there..shine from far..like star always manage to make me smile.hahas..thanks~~~

back

2009-02-19T09:08:00.000-08:00

im back to post lurr..got spider web already..today went out with edmund ,yati and mich[cashier]..quite a fun day.. but it didnt chase away my depression anyway.getting more and more depressed.duno wad happened to me.seem like these period alot of things happen around me.making my depression worsen..why is life so miserable??and it call life..im really trying very hard to smile to laugh along when ppl did..but its so hard..eddy..if you know..he made me felt so depress..so disappointed at the same time.and strongly hurt my feelings..wake me up again to face the reality of human.i dont blame him..but i thanks him for not supporting me not encouraging me by saying such a true phrase that he never know he've hurt me so badly.but at least i've wake up from the fake side..from the lalaland which i used to hide.another thing..i dun need and i dun expect his inreturn love..i just want to stay close by his side and protect him..to make sure he is happy with or without me.eddy if you are here..you sure scold me stupid..but you know how much pain i got..from xiao long till now this him..im getting so tired..blaming you..why you never bring me along with you..im suffocating now..making the 1 i love smile..is so hard..cos slowly i can hardly see myself smiling with my heart.cos tears is wad i get back at the end of the day.but im alright.will my next life be a better one?can it be..all these years that i've live..miserable.. till i hate myself for who i am.can i sucess in freezing my heart up once again?locking myself up in my own lonely world once again?cos slowly i duno who i am..im not who i am..doggy..how i wish you are here..listen to my words..hugging me ask me dont cry..buying ice cream for me when im emo..but you know only haagen dazs green tea ice cream can stop me from crying.that wad rennie sim zhen feng did when i cried alone..another supervisor that dote me alot.. cos we are 1 big family.thinking back my past..is so memorable..theres still you in it.you know why i love green tea so much??cos green tea got a special tea taste..just like our memory is so special to me.the milk tea and green tea..accompany all these days that you are not with me.lollipops and ice cream too..i used tarot card to predict my life..i think i know..im still waiting for your 100 days..i want to visit you..why you never come to my dream le..where you go to??then last time is when im so sick..you came..and pad my head in my dream.really no one can pamper me so much except you.im being spoilt by you.now i spoilt him.that day..i look at the sky..i realize im so tiny..compare to the wide wide sky..im just a nothing.why ppl always know how to treasure know regreting only after losing it.i did.. 5 times in my life.1st is my great grandma that pamper me so much..she got this very nice cake that she dont bear to eat when she know im visiting her..she will save it up and give me eat.i miss the kuay she made..the best food i ever ate.but when she passes away tt day..im beside her bed with her.im still young at that time.all i know is everyone crying like hell.2nd is my small cousin..melvin..i didnt get to see him for the last time..not in time.he love to eat sushi..i said when he recover from the brain cancel i will bring him go eat.but he didnt manage to pull through.i still remember i cry like water tap.3rd is willy..i wanted to visit him that day..he passed away..i never get to his him for the last time.and i cried..4th is you..till now i still cant accept the fact..i going bit nuts..telling myself you went oversea..but whenever i see you photo..my tears just drop.sorry really sorry..i caused your death..why my phone is not with me!!!wad the hell is the rule!!if i know you find me.if im by your side you wont have gone so far away.you know my time stopped at the time i see you inside the coffin.my whole world time stopped moving.5th is my mei mei..i never love her eonugh..i miss when she hugged me and called me jiejie.my youngest mei mei among all.the 1 i neglect the most.cos i have no time.but i know she dote and love me alot more than i do..meimei..jiejie really miss you..have you being guai guai over there?must guai guai ok.jiejie not there..cannot be naughty.your 100 days me and ah soon they all will go down oso..sorry for not there for your last day..im with eddy..when i saw him being pushed inside..i nearly fainted le if i go sent you i think jie jie me will faint for sure.forgive me..jiejie really love you and eddy.must come to my dream talk to me ok..missing you 2..

2008-12-12T06:06:00.000-08:00

yesterday went casting and etc..end up go chervone with jun,nelson mama,xiao xiong.sing all derr way..most funny thing is.. in the end the whole bar left 2 tbl.. another group of guy we duno..and us..so rotate sing very fast..we keep making fun of 1 of the guy..cows he sing song is OMG~! like reading ehh..den we went to toh guan 24hrs kopi tiam look for shao qi..tt shy boy is getting used to us. his rank bigger than nelson in camp eh..best part is..tt group of guy in ktv one also come to the coffee shop..AND! is shao qi's frens! woo..so accurate..pai seh when they say we sing song powerful nice.XD!of cause i got train b4 one eh.. finally tomoro flying off to australia.gonna shopping for astro as well.buying chocolate for everyone to share.i see git nice towel buy back for astro hao ler.his towel can dont wash for 2 months 1 siia..hmm..dirty little big boy..

down

2008-11-30T20:35:00.000-08:00

down down down

when life lead me to a corner that i feel like giving up.just so lost..nth belong to me..nth need me..when he's gone tt day..is just like my end of day..a storm that never end..even teddy bear dun belong to me..wadelse can do for him..everyguy i see is bull shit.. when i always didnt manage to treasure when love came..and now..eddy is gone..left i 1 person..looking at the world that i dont belong to..can i give up?justt give up..having real deep depression..when he give me such a big bomb..lying in the coffin..his cold body..controlling my madness..but i noe im gone deep down... down down down....down

2008-11-24T23:46:00.000-08:00

ahbao,shida,sunshine all gone..they leave cdm~!!and ah bao called me yesterdae..say he got throw into the pool and he got injure..deep deep cut at the elbow there..WTF~!and he say he went hospital himself and 3 stitches..very pain ehh??oh god..poor ah bao..anywhere i got him something that he will love..hahas..i got my gd gd fren a funny stuff..so cute..hmm..i really miss u all so much le lah..now..no more happening lurr..hais..and tt stupid uncle xander yesterday make me so angry..

2008-11-22T00:24:00.000-08:00

yeterday work so bored..but..kenath daddy come to me and fed me eat french fries..so sweet right..XD!! & denn mich oso pass me food..denn cicilia oso giib miie gingerbreadman..=.= 1 shot so many ppl giib miie food ehh..gdd gdd..ii yestday so hungry..denn..sue brought curry puff for me..o.O!food day!XD! but the day b4 was a terrible day.. before horrible things happen always so silent so fun so sweet..justt like wadd i write in cashoer coms book.. no one can comfirm life will be a sky full of rainbow or a sky full with dark clouds and storm..yesterdayy miie andd teddy..so funnyy..XD!he justt brought happiness to miie..even he dun notiice..he did..justt derr wayy he iish.. the power of LOVE! -.-"

photo #1 me mich with baby boy kaden.#2 adrian lee-astro- with baby kaden..lyke tt photo alott kaden is so cute..ok..=.= adrian is cute & adorable..which he told me yesterday..thanks ar adrian..XD!#3kaden want me more than uncle adrian and uncle xander..XD!yesterday i ask astro he on diet ar..he said he felt so fat..and he show me his real fats..so CUTE!! feel like hugging the fats..like piillow siia..serious!=Di touched..so i said to him..u fat then cute mah..so he said...im adorable too..smile so happily and walked away..XD!cute lar cute lar...lol..yesterday went home with georgia and mich.. talk and gossip while going home..hmm..rina keep never come..sommore now reason so ridiculous...house on fire??..lol..wth.. why she got so many problem derr ehh?if not she quite good de leii.. ai yoo....

2008-11-18T22:54:00.000-08:00

is like a dream when everything justt happen.. 17/11/08; eddy and my mei mei..my loves their 49th days and i went to se eddy..sorry doggy..i cried again..infront of you..i tried to console your mummy..but i cried with her once again..i just cant control..i miss you so much..the time once i reach i kneel down on the floor wipe your photo with my hand..im going nuts..how i wish everything is just a dream..when i wake up; you are still beside me..how i wish im in a coma..and u are still alive..where is the hug hug u used to say?when u have all the cream on u..i miss when you call"PING!" whatever i do now..remind me of you.everywhere has our memory..r u sure the guy is the right man??not the guy in my mind?confused..lol..hows life there??must wait for us all go down..like wad we said before..must wait...at least for me..

with love..ur king kong..kerina cherriish..

my love dun cry

2008-11-08T01:35:00.000-08:00

my love dun cry..
eddy effendy..
where is the love we said
when my heart bleed you amend..
when i thought we will be together
but you're gone
the warming hugs
the happiness smiles
in return of your coldly hurt
when i'm suppose to be there
softly heard you say
don't cry my love
like what you always said
my tears can never be removed
why did'nt you wait for me
i know you long for me
no one can understand
we're in love so much..
but we're too close to say i love you
his last word i ever remember is
'who become your boyfren that guy sure xin fu"
eddy we set a date to leave together..
i cant find another like how you treat me..
i gave up waiting for my prince..
cause kiss wont wake you up anymore..
my time stopped at when i see your cold body lying in the coffin
i've lost eveything....bcos i lost you..

truly noe he still my love

2008-11-07T20:02:00.000-08:00

after so many thing happened..the new boy nv moved my heart..he justt seem like a passer-by in my heart..it seem like the same old man still moving in my heart..but the way im waiting for him..is simply fuck up..i love wadeva he loves..he loves everything i loves..we share the same freaking attidute..thats why till now nth came out of our mouth..cos i scare of losing frenship...love??i dun have the choice anymore..he justted" ont and only..the JUSTTED" created for him so that no one will noe who is him..only some lah..me and my new boyy ...i really duno...just let everything silent down..i'll go back to that "always there..o.o this must say name big big..ADRIAN LEE~!ate the pocky i gave mich and yati to eat.. -_-"well he seriously love me so much..love me till all food related to me he must eat it up..adrian too much love not good...love=food... an astro pig..XDdun need to go on diet la..right mich??he fat fat one then is astro mah~!=X

liars?

2008-11-02T08:58:00.000-08:00

justt feel low suddenly..cos today saw something so hais.im just too stupid..like wad adrian said..im silly..thanks ar adrain lee~
and you burst the cotton candy that ah bao brought for me~!!!T_T!!!!and its like snow spread all around..T_T~!!you ate it..best..you misplaced it~!and duno who take go it~!T_T~!ah bao~!!!!!!adrian lee bully me~!!though he say will buy for me again~~but afterall he still bully me~!still want take cotton candy stick on my leg~!T_T~~~~~~~~!today brought a bear and a old school blanket total 83 bucks ..well worth lah..cos for charity...XD i dun mind helping those in needs...=) i duno wad to do then i will be happy..sunddenly thought of that time adrian say..if you will be happy anything also can..lols..happy???i duno lei..hais.......this my life bahh..can VIP make me see a good guy view??well this VIP is my very very silent secret..well secret are meant to hide wad..but please i seriously hate liars..just leave me alone like wad a liar is doing now....mayb i'll be better... end of story...
last but not least..ARDRIAN LEE OWN ME COTTON CANDY!well he's a gd man where by i everytime sad or bored he'll make me smile or laugh at him~!XD

me and my boring day

2008-10-31T03:14:00.000-07:00

such a boring day..everyone going clubbing..well im not a super clubber as usual..im a gd gal.=Xseriously..LOLs..chat with sze tho's fren yong siang on msn..and now we became gd fren..LOls..but xiao long lei..we cant even say up to full sentence of words..im trying hard to continue talk to him..but he's not..so forget bout it..i wont want our past to continue..im the one who protecting him..always..is time not to..haha..and ah bao..charsiew not bad lei..interesting name wor..XD now i change le la..better ehh?..XD..and my secret VIP..now i prottecting him luu..he;s great la..i cant help..i oso duno why..like he look so weird..behave so weird oso..XD..but i like..im weird too~!but like wad yong siang ask me..i like my VIP?? yes or no??i cant answer clearly too..i duno wad he thinking..many many thanks and many many sorry..

2008-10-30T08:51:00.001-07:00

happening night... but 2 sofa seats full not enough seat..thanks CDM chef- ah jun cos he came down after work somemore..XD yeah..always my best friend~!

oOps..i didnt have the time to update plus my wireless spoiled lahh..so lame..hahas..thanks everyone for my bday that day..shiok man..4 chivas 4 martell..hahas..merlion 2 times..hahas..funny is li chen and jun da anyhow only...-_-" so lame la they two..hahas..and thanks flora she spent over 200 bucks on my bday itself..and de rest of my sister..lyndy,jun,dor...and my rest of brothers that WENT down..nv went down one all go bang wall..FCUKer..uh..jeff can still tell me go catch prawn for me..eat shit lu..hahas..i know everone worry bout me..cos eddy..i will still try to be strong..but no promises..sometimes is so hard and tiring to act that in happy to let ppl not to worry and make others smile...im not happy at all without him..and he just left me let tt..hmm..kk..dun say bout this le....haha

eddy wish me happy birthday in my heart

2008-10-12T05:58:00.000-07:00

doggy you're not here..raining also got ouur memory..how much i miss you how much i wish you were there..boyed..you saw ah jun yesterday?he got bit look like you hmm..it might be the feelings bahs..he also help me drink when i cant..but no one can replace you..hmm..yesterday ah kang's brother li chen they all oso there..help me celebrate..and tat jun da pour for me that gls is so powerful sia..stil must drink finish..lols..ending li chen and jun da become kelvin's brothers..WTF..LOLs..that so powerful man..

tired of my life

2008-10-09T22:14:00.000-07:00

eddy..you are by my side am i right??i knew it..im so tired of my life..no one can really talk to me..no one understand me more than you..i not like others..i cant replace you with others..you are special one..no one can replace you.doggy..why i cant find my love??like what my gd fren yati say..we keep thinking the guy we like can find a better girl..and we only guard by the side..making sure they are happy..we r so silly right?thats why im so tired now..when are you fetching me??when my time will be up?1 yr 3 ppl left me..i cant take any blow anymore..doggy..thats someything i need to declare with you..i duno why human are so selfish..why they are so fake..

being human is tired

2008-10-06T02:05:00.000-07:00

being human is super tired..but doggy will know when to fetch me.i need to write a long letter saying when i died what you all need to burnt for me..will long like toliet paper i guess..oh ya..yesterday i went to my rugular shop to do some shopping..and you guess what..adrian thought i was 29 or 30 yrs old..WTF!!!i look so old ar!!!damn it..but i forgive you la adrian..oh ya..adrian the saleman..a very nice bitch..he's a gay..but also a very nice 1..very good looking...what a pity..why i loves this shop is that..it was a very unique shop..very kind of old school old style..very chinese old style..and the clothes was al design by 1 japanese designer..his temper is so weird..and all the clothes is so weird..but its cool man..
last warning im not 29 yrs old la...

he'll never leave me alone

2008-10-04T21:51:00.000-07:00

he'll never leave me alone..he never did it once before.i belief he's with me all this while.doggy..i stil cant accept..so sorry..but im going nuts..i kepp thinking of joining you and mei mei..but i promise to take care of your family and your brothers..i must do it..i will be guai guai derr..what you dont like i wont do anymore..so you must guai guai stay by my side okay..no ppl bother bout me i really think i dont have fren anymore..only you will accompany me..always so steady..my mummy oso heart pain you leave..you say you wan eat she do der dumpling..on tues night baby you want me wait for you at 1 head mac or at my hse??your 7th day..give me a hint ok..give me a slap on my face..slap it hard..i might be dreaming now..hit me hard..i might wake up and you're still there..or let me slp..let me find you in my dream..and den dont wake me up..let me stay by you.

2008-10-04T00:19:00.000-07:00

this my fav pic that he ever took.we always loves each other so much..he dote me so much that now i cant bear to let him go.eddy remember that time i no money to eat mac at boat quay?you brought breakfast and you eat the bread and you give me the meat..bluffing me saying you going back indonesia den nv come back..want mit me at far east.i left with no money but i cried and ran all the way down but you ended up only want me to pei you walk walk.at the pub you brought me there..i cried and you just hugged me ask me dont cry anymore.everytime i cry you hugged me pamper me like a baby.loves me so tender till no one can win you.i loves to hug you and i fell asleep.hug you when we watch movie using lap top.bao bei we got go watch movie before mah??my brain seriously not working anymore.my last memory of youis you lie on my leg and talk to me rememeber?i still remember you used to meet me at causeway point and we go bukit batok..everytime you oso wait for me..but without any complains..you used to come my hse downstair den callme say you're there..surprise ehh..you dun like when i say i like another guy..you will ask me go find him la..and then you will curse me say that guy waont like me..seriously but so accurate every guy he cursed tt guy wont like me..i belong to eddy you see..he's part of me..part of my life.when i bring him to eat at temple with my family..he say i lie to him...sorry lah..i forget you dun eat vegetable..doggy i know you now very heart pain oso..sure scolding me saying i never say for 4 days..eat a bit when ppl forced..1st day didnt even drink water.if you stay with me i'll eat..i need to do what i promise you..to take care of your family..esp your brother i wont let him turn bad and i wont let ppl bully him..dont worry okay..i'll make sure he guai guai study..when everything i promised you have done..then promise me take me with you when my time is up..i can no longer walk so bravely without you..you scolded me saying i dote xiao long more..your everything everything justt appear in my heart..everytime you buy water we share..green tea or milk tea.buy ice cream for me.bangawasolo's kuay..help me take my bag..even want bring me go indonesia..poor till 1 cigarette 4 person share..me,you.da ge,simon..i still remember evryone thought we are together..cos we loves each other so much..you pamper me somuch till i dunno what to do now..wake up and tell me what shld i do?your 50 dollar buffet you nv eat yet lei..my bday this yr you nv help me celebrate..your every yr bdae from i know you that yr onwards all i help you celebrate..one yr is steamboat remember??cos i say no money den you say you pay just want me to go only..and you cook prawn but i feed you..

and that photo is i go find you all den i zhi lian take de..using jeffri daddy de phone..doggy we seldom take photo together ehh..but we got so much thing together..i miss hugging you..no one love me like you do..no one will ever pamper me so much like you.no one will appecciate what i do for them..only you did..remember now you promise me to take me with you when my time is upand after i do everything i promise you..ppl all think i crazy..i also think so..for ppl who not so close with you i dun blame them told off them that they dunno you dun act like know..but i want to say thank you everyone..who think of him who send him the regards and who wish for him..behalf of eddy i say thank you so much..really appecciated..

BOYED_pings

2008-09-28T06:49:00.000-07:00

stay at home for whole day today..thinking again..why life so fake..ppl so fake..i guess i need to go raining for brain wash..hahas..seriously i think i hld just give him up..im just wasting my another century of time..but well..everytime i said but i cant make it..i also think im silly..my birthday coming again..will another sadness come?like a curse..from dunno when..every year birthday of mine..i will be crying..hopfully this yr i wont tears..again..this yr justt shut up..everything shld be fine..hais..T_T.. dont worry bout me if you dun like me..i dun like you anymore..stupidd..13dec i going australia..till earliest 19 will be back..chirstmas chalet i wont miss it .. new yr oversea i oso wont miss..chinese new yr steamboat huat la!i love it..how much i wish i can carry his burden for him..in this world i might be the limited person that can be so understanding and caring towards him..sometimes i hate myself for who i am..~
oooo...think back..F1 event tt day..got 1 p/t staff..quite cute..nelson ..and his bunch of friend..benny they all..hahas..i fast uhh..i got benny number..but well for benny..i still think my real fren benny is better..{pleased?]XD but all this is make friend only la..stil young la they all..i like mature man..[but childish in ways]justt pure simple innocent freaks.. loves..
V I P secrets

XD

2008-09-28T01:16:00.000-07:00

im so sorry recently was so busy to write anything here..got the F1 event in CDM..we were crazy busy..LOL..all 5 cashier became bar maid..thats cool..XD..but the next day i was so terribly tired..work 10 but i late 11 den reach..hahas..well guess im not that super tired one..should be adrian..he never sleep siia..drink too much red bull le la..o.O..well..adrian say the cola red bull can very cute..so me and edmond went to ka poh whole big bag of red bull..and whole bag of invitation card..but we tot we the very auntie ones..while..we tured around and saw adrian..ADRIAN!!!OMG!!both me and edmond laugh like fcuk..adrian carry the whole fridge in..the small red bull fridge..WTF~!i know he super tired la..cos i oso..lol..i was so freaking tired..but someone said something yesterday that i was so fcuking angry..and im enjoying haagen dazs and keep calling me..lol..spoiled all the mood..lol..well real story lyndy know nia..the whole story i mean..lols..oh yeah yesterday being VIP..princess type of life baby!!!im loving it!how i wish he was there too..but he dont even know im enjoying myself..XD..to me he's my one & only secret VIP..all my sister know the la the real name of VIP..XD
justt him_loves%

'n'

2008-09-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

o.o my brother text me in the morning after i left home while i was on train..he said he was so terribly depressed of waking up so early everyday..cause our house is so far away from where we work..and he said he felt really upset bout our dad n mum are like that..i told him..this what god want us to go though..i wondered before too..why am i born in this family that whatever we went though were only hardship..but when i grow up i realise..hardship & sadness will always be there to make sure that when happiness come..we will know what is truly happy..we can only face it boldly,bravely,we'll nv say lose..because we've grow up..we left the childhood of nightmare..and thats why we are so independent..and always think for others..that's how we grow up..feeling depressed & tired just close eyes, tears for while and it will be a brand new day.sometimes i wonder if i have a someone to rely on like my brother has..but i think too much..i never will have the courage to say i'm always the one down there waiting like stupid..i love vanness one of the song.."wo tao yan wo zi ji"
song that can mak me cry all i love it man...i dreamt of someone last night..but nth special happen in that dream..just keep seeing him in different places..well did talk but not that much..LOLs..someone ask me 1 question today..she ask me why dont i tell the boy i like him..i replied that i'm afraid if he doesnt like me we cant even get to maintain as friend.so silent is the best pill but it will kill too..just bluetooth also can detect love connections BEST LA~!![o.Oi think too much -_-" not enough Zzz]alright den gd night ppl....

missing me

2008-09-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

what can i say..if your heart dont belong to me..your heart is still not missing me..i wish im a mind reader..so that i noe what am i in you..i dun need you to love me as much as i do..cause i can bravely say no one can love you as much as i do..i dun need you to love me so much i just need you to at least love me..i can be the one to pamper you..i dun mind..but i mind i cry when i dote you so much i did so much and you still not missing me.i might not be as gd i might not reach your expectation..but i might just be the one.im just a simple minded,innocent[childish @ times],easy content liitle human..i cant make you love me or even take a notice at me..lets name this person that im saying the 4th man..he's the 4th boy that i ever love so much..but this time round is so different..cos i dun dare to love anymore.. i learnt 3 such a gd lesson..3 tragic..i dun want 4thboy to be another one..depressions...so keep mumm....is so tiring to shut up and worry here n there..cos love him is worth so should i stop it...im justt in a great mess..it seem like he dont even care.......love=tears

whatkindofmeyou'llmissmore

2008-09-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

since when he ran into my heart without notice..making my life messy.i just think i'm not good enough to be with him..and lOLs..to every guy i also think let tt.WTF.that's why now single..T_T..well..what i think was..i can't find any boy that is faithful than girl.as in we this group of girl..there's one song i heard in CDM..it's say;
"they know what is what but they don't know what is right"
well is interesting yeah?but i change it to..
"i know who is who but i don't know who to love"
interesting babae~can i find one guy to rely n trust?o.O
well..someone filled me with more & more disappoinment..but you see..i still trust him..as all the thing not from his mouth well i didnt heard it from him wad..i'm a understanding girl..but i got my own temper as well..i'm j ustt weird..someone spread to me this weird character..well..today work is quite fun..but now i'm super tired..just lucky that i'm off for sat n sun..to love or not to love that's a question by kerina spear..wahahahahaas.im going nuts~! BTW WHO MISS ME SO MUCH IN SUCH A MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT~!MY NOSE DAMN SUPER ITCHY SIIA..MISS ME IS OKAY BUT NOT TOO MUCH ...=XoOps..wahahaas

OooOooOoo

2008-09-18T08:06:00.001-07:00

well..took this on 17/9 yesterday..whenever one person is looking at a sunset..he/she will be sad..know why??cause "sun sad".but changes do occur yeah~

well..that was my art piece..

share with you all what i encounted this morning.

firstly..i saw one ah ma..carried so many things.yet no one give up the seat to her yet got people snatch seat with her..LOL.wad derr~!

secondly..when i was walking towards north-east line..a guy with mental problem came up to me saying he know me la ask me whats my name where i live la..but he got scolding from me yeah..is he unlucky ..bump into me..XD

hmm..heard that adrian bump into weird incident..phone moved 360 degree by itself..OMG~

im just emotional im not a cry baby`!i only watch sad show everytime cried like hell mah~o.o

just tell me what to do..what can i do?what kind of me will you miss most?i can't read your heart baby..when did he run into my mind??....love one person does'nt need to be with that person but to do anything justt to see them smile.XD well this logic i know it yrs ago ..LOLs.so lame

back

2008-09-17T10:09:00.000-07:00

im back to work today..weird..edmond ,astha.alex..etc..almost everyone think i've change..became quiet..o.O..did i??anyway..i'm in no mood to talk anyway..i don't know why too..it just happened.hahas..oh yeah..but today time passed fast..after work i went to find doris..wait for her to after work..and went makan with her..talking craps as usual..XD..i'm looking forward for sunday flea market..XD..revenge shopping arts!!!finally i can join in the part of shopping..wahahahas..and cat say she will meet me for kopi..XD..i comfirm i wont cry again okay~!

stolen all the photo

2008-09-16T02:07:00.001-07:00

woo..taken event for ah gu's bdae..XD well..it was at JE..decorated by ah gu & lyndy~clap clap~~!! freaking AUNTIES huat ar~!XD

o.O

2008-09-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

should i go shelter should i not?? shakespare said to be or not to be that's a question..for me i said..to go or not to go that's a question..-_-"
during all these days facing to the wall thinking hard..i decided if i have my dreams fufilled i can give up my love..and i answered everyone question..if career come and love come at the same time what i'll do..i choose career..sorry..some say bring love along woth career..but how you all sure if love want to go along?forcing is not kind of love baby..the song i'm listening now.[lyndy ur fav"she bu de'] i loves these pharses..i cried like hell siia tt day~lyndy..why women always the one crying? we freaking aunties...you see..always the one who give iin to guy..the one who say sorry..the one always so soft hearted..even if we do alots things for them we just keep in our heart..wishing them the best.and justt leftt with tears..i really dunno why siia.~!maybe there's a natural doings that innocent dude do~XD [Oops i say it again]xiao long once told me before..think of others when you think you are such a poor thing..there are others even worst..and there's 1 person told me[i forget who la]sadness is justt a grow up process so that when happiness come you can feel it totally..o.O -i justt simplyy loves all my friiendds aroundd me!!-

yesterday is a history

2008-09-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

this is a mini coin bag..

well..is carried by zhi qiang[ah qiang]

OMG~!that's so funny siia..

yesterday we went chervone..and so funny siia..should take video..

how they actually dance..and anyhow sing..XD..

that's why i say..go out with them..

they wont let you feel bored..you'll comfirm laugh till mouth cramp.

with them all..i found back my old life.the life i loves to have..

not everyday feel bored..i can have the image when he say us that night tt look..i really hate it.that is enough for me to hate a person.

if a person care for you.everything he do will be caring..but slowly..

i cant find anything left for me to miss..have everything change or just my thinking change??he'll nv know..i wont let him noe anyway.

i had a dream..in dream i saw his undecision heart..he don't dare to love.yet he urge to love..struggling through..why still miss the love that wouldn't come to me.will i have the strength to give him up?like what i always did....given up loves %

yesterday history of chervone KTV includes:

zhi qiang{ah qiang [he sing damn well babae]

weiliang[he&qiang jokers of the night]

andy lau[he did join in the fun afterall]

flora lau[so sorry if you feel weird]

lyndy tan[as usual KTV comfirm gt our shares]

the rest afterthat;

dong ling[mr ganna bully}i bully him]

is that guy named jia wei??or what??i really dunno-_-"

bored~

2008-09-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

justt super boredd..eii~i don't know why eh~the tv show"yang jia jiang"
the yang 7 lang died that eps i cried like hell siia..cried till like he's my who lol..espcially when all the corpses lie there then the mother do all the clean up for them.i cried even more lor~-_-" nowaday at home i totally don't feel like talking..and i have a sweet dream~o.Owoo~ well i guess i can't make any decision in BGR..justt hook a hoop LOL..eddy si dog taught me..what hoop a hoop??i guess for guy truly know me are..eddy[doggy],xiao long[turtle],ru soon[pig],yew sing[ah boi" shooting star],nelson[mummy]..the one i missed the most were yew sing & xiao long..yew sing my ah boi..lol[he call me ah gal]he used to know my everything..and always there when i tears..when i really need him..XDbut now he went MIA for yrs..xiao long..stil friend but not that closed anymmore..he used to find me when he's emo..-_-"ru soon...he will comfirm find me when he break up with gf.XDpig am i right?eddy...my doggy..he free ju find me..not free ju MIA..even more free appear under my block cried to me say he's sad..-_-"hello i live very far lei..no wonder your hse moved getting nearer and nearer to marsiling..from jurong move now to panjang..-_-"don't sundden appear again=X nelson "tan"XD our mama..together we 5 qian jin..XD but mama always there when we msg him..but ask him come out so scary..scare he bomb us.but mama..your fren is so weird-_-"really DHL drive halfway lost..he come halfway gone..-_-" speak more to him..if not he got depression then you know.XD

in love wz ART

2008-09-14T05:54:00.000-07:00

this for bee hoon..LOL..thats my mum saying..wahahahas..and this was at amk hub..hmm..causeway cant buy?LOLs..hahas..
the contrast of this two clolur is perfect..i justt took the picture i didnt buy this..thought of buying peach but my bro brought it at hm le..LOL

why??i cant appear in supermarket?i cook okay~!is justt the matter of nice not..but surprisely it came out all nice.=Xdont try me make me angry i make you all go toliet sit for whole week~!!XD

well..come come come..let's say good bye..think if every customer like us..they sure close down..cos i eat alot fresh oyster..grilled beef..n etc...XDcool..i'll be back..

actually got alot of fishes but they shy to take picture..=X so all run.

this was shoking when i took..FCUK..this the 3rd round food..can you imagine all add up??o.O

this was justt an art of japanese culture..well thay play cheat..put photo and glue on that hanging thing~LOLs
i justt simplyy lke the wall ..look so japenese siia...i want go japan~!woo~my ticket to australia booked...why not japan lei?can eat sushi lai~=X
WOW~!!this is shiok man~grilled prawn..by the side was beef wap wz veg
this was tempura..i was so full that last min i felt like eating this so i ate 4 more in last min before we left..dont waste is buffet lei..
the main of this photo was the 7 ice-cream cup..5 person with 9 ice cream okay~the 1st 7 was with watermelon fruit and the last two the waitress was so stress that came with only the ice-cream..what the~XD

so this was the view of the restaurant..[well everyone went to toliet except me..but ...they cant run away the lahh~if not i run oso..200++ WTF

sashimi..[this the 3rd plate actually]when the 1st plate of mixed sashimi came i just ate it i forget to take photo..-_-"

ar~~this the supper big prawn..yummy..1 thing this buffet cost 1 person 40++ 5 person= 200++

this the japanese restaraunt[the pond]..i like alomst everyday eat japanese food siia~LOLs

today mood feel very weird..my whole mind sudden of mess..thought of tt "DOG".make me feel once again i need to have my own career like what des had done..so that i can be proud of myself..so that what me & xiao yu derr deal will be done.i have very high expectation for myself..cant't expect me to stay in this way.im sorry if i'm sarcast..if you find that i don't look at you in a normal way..don't talk to you..smile at you in a weird way...that's it ..you are in my blacklisted...beware..XD

alright here share with everyone..today where i went..XD

he'stheone

2008-09-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

dun ask me why..i wonder too.. i been thinking of him for everyday..today the whole day..at home i think of him..think of his everything..how his mood today..what he's doing now..etc..even if he were to be with me i'll still miss him..but he doesn't even know anything...simple & innocent.. michevious yet mature,,tell me what to do if i miss you..no one teaches me..

FREAKING AUNTIES

2008-09-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

hmm..i've forget where this place..but i only remember ITS A TOLIET!XDand rememeber when i took this everyone beind me was stunned-_-"
alright...this the photo tt no link with freaking aunties.justt clearing..i don't know this guy.XDbut we justt took a photo to memory its a gay night..so obviously..he's a gay-_-"
hmm..i went work..so im not in it..the 3 aunties..
the editions # sentosa memory yeah..lets form a bigger group than what we used to have lei..the most we got 8 nia..more please..XD
alright finally we 4 met in 1 picture..XDwill update all the new prints we took yesterday..not now.i see who put in steal can liao.=X

freaking 3 aunties whent outing that day..instead of haagen dazs we went somewhere else..is still in holland V anyway..saw waycheng n galfield..im so happy~!!thanks waycheng fir that bill and that secret msg passed by galfield..-_-"

and people i'm going to australia on dec for holiday..[go with family lol]

come back i sure alot thiings complain again..LOLs..

jun going hong kong for holiday with family oso..

so dec both of us not in sg..will rush back for chirstmas..

i want search for santa b4 he ran away.XDpresent~~give me more~!

mermaid

2008-09-13T05:44:00.000-07:00

this my view on the mermaid fairytale..if you are the mermaid..your last word will be?if i am mine will be........

i don't regret doing all these things.. but you never tried to understand my feelings & all my hurt at all.... my tears form into part of the air..
it doesn't belong to such a cold cold world...
can't force myself in killing you..so i replace you with myself forming into bubbles.. hoping you would turn back notice me.........
with your smile on the face i've got the courage to leave..
be the bubbles that surround by your side....when i 1st saw you i cried so when i'm leaving i cry too>
does everyone know sonething?mermaid doesn't know how to swim after she became human....
dun put salt on my injury~!

missing me

2008-09-13T04:25:00.000-07:00

when i sit alone at home;thinking if you were missing me too;
turn my head and look at the television;
the women was so silly;
even if her husband beat her up and take her money to gamble she stil find a reason to console herself saying is just he & his itchy hand.
women women..we must not be that silly anymore..well a limit of silly is acceptable, too much is call stupid.LOLs..
well..i was so afraid to say the fact and he'll left..all i can is to wait..wait for him one day to know im there..i'll always be there .be part of his shadow.wait for him to say the 3 words and i'll be his..
so keep on waitingT_T...
but somehow..sometimes i'll wonder why??why is him?nothing came out but heart bump hard.
i love him because he is him..
noted me with miss

gd news or bad news?

2008-09-13T00:44:00.000-07:00

im not going KL for that commercial..gd news?might be gd cause my sis cancelled it cause it's very dangerous..no people accompany me there..but soon wil have commercial in sg..so i need not worries..i belief if there's will everything will be fine.. gd news~dec im going to australia..i was thinking why not london??den can go find mark~XDso i must think which of my fren is from australia..LOL~think harder........

well don't ask me anymore questions....don't put salt on my wound anymore~!

im suffocating tell me what the FCUK is wrong?

ART

2008-09-12T23:47:00.000-07:00

MINT BERRIES JIM FIZZ~!my favourite drink woolalalalala

the wine counter of barracks..art of the living room

where i learnt true art..where i found true family..truely miss you all..

tt man there is jayson..LOL

hahas..done by me on CJ's hand.who ask him play sisscor paper stone with me and he lose..surrounding ppl laugh like hell...XD

art of food counted??

the merpig..by EDMOND ,ADRIAN LEE,KERINA CHERRIISH LOU

specially for yati..

done by ADRIAN LEE & KERINA CHERRIISH LOU[me]adrian aka astro boy his fat boy creation

our 1st combine skill..XD

2008-09-12T23:32:00.000-07:00

and for this..memory of our gathering.PJ,teddy,ezan,cat,lyndy.by camera woman me~

ar ha~~look carefully in this pic..chung is inside..[chung our boss]chung the best boss i ever have..the boss that dote me so much..thanks for everything chung~

remember this at barracks?our mr dave need to wear so thick in the afternoon..XDthe best chirstmas i ever have~

hahas~people remember this photo?$2$5$10..XD stupid siia~~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH GU

2008-09-12T22:40:00.000-07:00

tha miss doll machine

happy birthday ah gu~!but it seem like mickey mouse than cow ehh~

yesterday when we were eating sushi she suddenly playing with the cucumber n the two bowl..hahas

leave me alone

2008-09-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

LEAVE ME ALONE

if i could be on my own;if i tears and no one know because no one care; just let me cry till i sleep;sleep till i cry;

depression knock me when im alone;but i stil prefer alone as im used to it;if my life could be better;if i could choose;

just like me cry in the corner of my room as usual;

dun ask me dont cry;i'll cry more;

tears justt roll down as it like;but it justt wontt stop;

justt leave me alone cause no console is given;scolding came out;

if i can leave me in my dream dont ever wake me up;

leave me in the song;the song you once sang;

thats a console to me;empty everything from my heart;

delete everything in my mind;

if life is a game;i really feel like saying;

i give up on this game;i've lose;

really..im not as brave as people know;who know & who see & who's there

when i cry alone;everyone think im brave i wont tears;

im always smiling joking chilling;

but seriously i forgotten that happy smile of me;

years ago..i;ve lost the true smile;someone tell me what is happiness?

when only sadness came by;i still need to fake out smiles

to make everyone heart ease

& not let them worry bout me;i still need to say im alright & smile;

to joke around make people laugh when my tears roll down in my heart;

laughiing is another excuse for tears to roll;

when no one is there;

leave me alone;

maybe i'll feel better;when no one see my tears;

why you all need to block me from my dream?

crushed my dream justt in a moment..

i dunno where i can stand now.why must you all stop me.?

dun treat me like im still small.

let me go~to the world i suppose to..stop pulling me..

i must know thw world outside..if not i'll never grow up..

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE STAY AWAY FROM ME

IM GOING NUTS.

i dun hate you all at all..but i blame.......................

ar~~~

2008-09-12T00:08:00.000-07:00

sorry here to everyone who i own drawings~XD
to yati n astha my 2 dearest i really want to help them..but everytime like others fault i oso need to carry the burden [ref to my previous com]im scare..and when people say about cashier do wrong things all i think is my fault as usual.tt where stress are from..
to adrain..dearest astro boy..
sometimes really dun dare to talk to him.his face like [oii~!u own me 1million hor!]the face...XDbut i know he's the best lerr..seriuos..everything he did ..[of cos sometimes i might get imitated]but i know this his job la..[if not he'll get fired man eat sea ham plus you yu]im understanding..[lucky ]oh ya..sorry x3 saw ur bookmark so funny so i tt time after work go around alot places find astro boy's bookmark but failed..[even bugis astro boy shop closed]by right wanted to do for him a special bookmark..by left he so fierce so dun make better..-_-" and tt time his cigatte lost i search the whole bar..even the floor..died died also cant find it..-_-"and i make him felt disappointed..[you have no choice but to accept this 3 sorry i dun care =X]

edmond..he's the BEST BITCH i ever met~THE ART BITCH~~!!!!woo~~

whahahahahas~

2008-09-11T23:42:00.000-07:00

yuppi~!!!!!!sushi buffet~~~~wolalalala~!!and then sing songs~~~!!i really need a good chill out and shout out plus relax out.

i miss all the old days %

seriously

i'll be back to say out all the happening ....

emotions~

2008-09-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

when i cry alone at home no one to turn to,where are you.when i need you,you're not there.you leave me alone..you are simply so similar to me.and you too..treat everone the same.artise life..i said.

loves never come with secure before

when you always say i think too much

all the things i've done for you which u will never know

is all secret

i dont expect anything in return

im just silly

family & friend

2008-09-11T22:27:00.000-07:00

Family'_#
god has helped me to hide my childhood for 18 years.i'll reveal now.in a form of poetry.
a mother of 2 child already exhausted;
with husband always sucking money;
A child that should not been born came out;
the 3rd child;
poor children;
late in the night;
no sound was to be heard;
laughters & voices;
father heard noise;
one of them will be slammed outside the main door;
or even get tangled with the belt;
everynight of crying;
nearly being thrown down from 8th floor;
everyone of them tried;
even wanted to jump down on their own;
life was miserable;
in one quarrel;
mama told 3rd child;
he's not your papa;
3rd child asked mama;
so mama who is my papa;
mama slapped 3rd child;
asked 3rd child to shut up;
everyday of parents quarrel & fighting;

[all the above is kept with god as i dun wan people to pity me..god gave me a character im outer brave girl..want cry go home then cry..]

friends' #
lots of friends is nothing;gd fren only need a few.
the rest of them only because of power and come near me.
but im lucky to have all my beloved friend;
all my brotherhood;sisterhood;

loves' #
never get a chance to taste true love ice-cream;
sadly who ever i love that person wont love me'
but all i dont like all find me;
eat shit lol..
so now i love one person put it in heart dont say out;
at least is friend;
but i treat everyone the same;
so difficult to figure out;
letting go of love baby
all the thing i've gone through;only my close fren know.

why?god

2008-09-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

God you given me all the talents that people beg for.But you take away love from me.does it means that all talents i have is precious and nothing should come all good so i could only give ip on finding true love.but thanks god anyway.i'm proud of my talents' being know how to sing well i got lot good comments; know to write songs of my own; know to play piano by nature without anyone teaching; bit of playing DJ; produces of new dance step; skill in acting; modelling; skill in drawing & etc..i met so many people that eventually teaches me some skill.thanks alot people.but with all this talents i've lost love.

11.9.08 FCUK LEAVE ME ALONE

2008-09-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

should be a happy day today.but it end up in i'm super angry.i didnt wan t o look down on poor english educated people but she's the 1st one i look down."if your head is not big dont wear a big hat" that's a chinese say.Highlighting;not only i dislike her is almost everyone.Watch your mouth that's what i can say.she's driving me to the extend that i'm going mad.i don't like people to force me do things i dislike.i'm stuborn & i'm rebellious obviously i'm juat a human being after all i'm not god.If you are not adorable don't try to be one it will only led to disgusting.sorry if this is so WTF blog out.this whole thing is just to let my anger out in order i won't le to my depression once again.yeah if i don't see her i'll be alright.